Internal Wilderness

Healing With the Touch of a Finger

by Deb on January 19, 2010

Today I read that John Travolta and his Scientologist friends are going to Haiti to help.  Help is needed, that’s for sure.  I also read in a related article that a Scientologist named Randy Meyers from Michigan had travelled to India after the tsunami to heal survivors by touching them with his finger.  Meyers, an auto mechanic, said that he does not need you to believe that his method works, for it to work for you.

His method was described this way: “he is helping them heal themselves, eradicating pain waves and allowing energy waves to flow, clearing pathways for nerves to run errands of anatomical necessity, liberating the spirit to align with the body…”

This is the kind of story that just grabs my attention.

Not because so many believe that Scientology is a cult, or because I have never seen anyone become permanently healed by just the touch of a finger…

…but because it seems like it should be true.  This is the allure.  This is the trip wire into taking one illusion and replacing it with another.

First of all, I believe that Mr. Meyers really believes that he is helping – and truth be told, whenever he encounters a tsunami victim and shows his compassion – he IS helping.  There is a special healing that happens when one person shows another that he or she cares enough to engage.

But let’s look at his other belief: that he can heal with just the touch of his finger.

You know that I’m a skeptic (as paradoxical as it appears on its face), and I’ve seen a lot of people make a lot of claims in the realm of healing, but you know and I know that if anyone had found that magic incantation, that magic touch, that magic wand, then the world would already have beaten a wide and wooly path to their door.  That healer would be either a world-famous multi-quadrillionaire,  or just a straight-up Angel of God – no two ways about it.

No one fitting that description exists on Earth, yet, we want to believe that they do.  But why?

Well, there are several reasons, not the least of which is that we think that we’re so important that, of course, we are entitled to be healed – and instant healing would be even better.  We’re locked in a special relationship with ourselves, and we have a really hard time seeing around it.  OK, the ground is getting mushy here, stick with me.  How important are we?  Who are we? And why are we needing healing?  Obviously something isn’t right in the Universe if we aren’t the perfect, whole, radiant beings that we’re told we are, by just about everyone in the self-help world.  Why do we keep buying that line when it’s ALWAYS the exception and NEVER the rule?

So, how important are we? Apparently, not important enough to stay whole and radiant and so forth.  But that only applies if we believe we’re real…and whether we are really critical to the story we find ourselves in.

There is no way I can address all of these questions in one post, so I’m going to do it in installments.  This installment is called, “Are We Real?”

Are we? Can we prove it to anyone? Keep in mind that you might well be arguing your case to someone caught in the same illusion as you are.  You may say to me, “my eyes see you, my ears hear you, my hands can feel you, so therefore, we are both real.”  Let me ask you a question: If you follow your five senses – let’s take touch, for example – through the skin, up into the brain that receives the signals and converts them into something we recognize…where did that come from, that ability to believe that we feel?

Did it come from God? If it did, why did he make a faulty product – a product that breaks down and needs fixing, and then gets old and dies?  A product that, while having some pretty thrillingly miraculous systems,  hates and kills and lies? If God is all we’re making him out to be (perfect, all-knowing, all-loving, and so forth), then either a perfect God made an imperfect creation……..OR………there’s something not right with our assumptions.

“But the Devil! HE tempted man and man fell and became imperfect!” The devil? He’s more powerful than God? He can take God’s perfect creation and hobble it? Really?

“It was a Free Will! Man became willful and chose sin, and now he’s paying the price!”  Can a perfect God create something that can will itself to become imperfect?  Or, as I’ve heard asked so many times, “Can God make a rock so heavy that he, himself can’t lift it?”

C’mon! Let’s get some critical thinking started here.  We don’t know how we got here. We don’t even really know where ‘here’ is – much less who ‘we’ are!  It seems miraculous if you take the long view, and I agree – there’s something like a miracle going on….it ‘s just, just that it’s such a fractured miracle.

So we stipulate that there’s something unexplainable (maybe even miraculous) going on, skip all the hard thinking and zoom to the end of the theorem – miraculous stuff appears to exist, I appear to exist, ergo, I am miraculous (and can perform miracles).  Yikes!

If the Scientologists, or anyone else for that matter, figured out how to really, really, really heal others, then what’s up with a God who let centuries of mankind suffer and die until that person was born?  And if you’re a healer, wouldn’t you also have to be a peacemaker?  Or would war and suffering be your raison d’etre?  How wrong is that?

Mankind’s saving grace and our biggest problem is that we believe there’s something out there that we can’t quite wrap our arms around. It’s our biggest problem because we judge that we must own it and define it and limit it and put it in a big building and use it to manipulate others.  It’s our saving grace because it gives us our transcendent moments and beckons us to keep searching for answers.  Deep down in our hearts we know that if we use it to make judgments, we are psychologically killing ourselves.  Because when we judge, we somehow imagine we are as powerful as the devil we just gave those impossible powers to – we’re mightier than the Miraculous Unknowable – the God.  We can take creation – God’s product, if you will — and make a decision about it.  “So there, God – I’m the Boss of YOU!”

“I’m the boss of you” yet I don’t even know who or what I am.  But I feel mighty entitled, anyway.

If we’re going to learn to stop judging and therefore to stop psychologically killing ourselves, we’re going to have to start sometime.  How about re-reading that last big paragraph and allowing yourself to laugh at yourself – then start right now?  Who will know?  I’m not talking about judging if the floor was properly swept or the coffee was cold – I’m talking about the subtle things that shoot right by us.

When you watch the news about Haiti tonight, watch your thoughts.  You may recognize a couple of these gems:

  • People who loot are bad.
  • That guy suffered a loss of limb, but he was visiting a brothel – he got what he deserved.
  • Brown skinned foreign people don’t feel things the same way ‘we’ do.
  • Scientologists (or any group) are whack-jobs, they shouldn’t be there – they’re just making a bad thing worse.
  • The Haitians weren’t smart enough to build infrastructure – what did they think would happen?

Go back to the picture in this post and check your reaction again – then apply forgiveness to the one who needs it the most – YOU.  It might not answer the question, “Are We Real?” but it will put us in touch with the transcendent side of the equation, and that is the only side that can logically contain the answer.


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I Need a Tarot Reading RIGHT NOW!!

by Deb on December 28, 2009

Have you ever said those words? I know I have.  Sometimes I can get so caught up in the process of my life that I focus in on the details instead of the themes.  What’s important here is your emotions: where are they?  Are you wearing them on your sleeve?  Can you not think straight because all of your other thoughts are being shouted down by your anxiousness?  Can your friends tell by looking at you what’s on your mind?  Yes, yes, we’ve all been there.

So – is this a good time to get a tarot card reading? In general, I’ll have to say, “no.”  This anxious period that we’ve all experienced is what I call “transition time.”  When crazy feelings like the ones I mentioned abound, you are most likely right in the deep center of going through a change.  The wheels are turning – you’re moving from the known to the unknown.  You’re scared.

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In reality, though, most of what you’re going through is already finished, and it’s that last break from your old self and your known issues that can scare you the most.  So, what will a tarot card reading do for you at this very point in time?  Well, first of all, your questions are probably the wrong ones.  In this state of acute uncomfortableness you may think  that you have not yet made the change you saw coming.  The reality is, it’s all over but the shouting.  To make those nervous feelings go away, we will all tend to ask questions like:  “When will <my problem> be over?”  Questions of ‘when’ are moot at this point.

Instead, take a moment and think of the theme of your life.  Before, maybe you were single – and now you’ve fallen in love – and you’re not prepared to admit how much it scares you.  Or perhaps before you were an employee – and now you are the employer – and the stack of unknowns in front of you are dizzying.   Try to put your finger on the new theme in your life.  Imagine you are not on the threshold of that theme, but down the road a way.  Now, you’ll have questions that are more concrete, and that will deliver more satisfying answers should you decide to get your cards read.

Timing is everything, and just because we want, or think we need something RIGHT NOW, doesn’t make it our best choice.  Our lives are what they are.  Let’s not give our power away when we are perfectly capable of getting through a transition time gracefully.  Those transition times are when we actually define who we are most completely.  Not even the best tarot card reader in the world can do that for us.


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2010 – A Mystery or A Gift?

by Deb on December 4, 2009

Here come the holidays.  Such a stressful time.  When they draw to a close on New Year’s Day, what will you be preparing for in 2010?

Every New Year’s Eve I sit down with my Runes and draw one rune for each of the important themes in my life: my marriage, my children, my work, my friendships and all the many things I juggle in a given week.  Weeks that turn into months in the blink of an eye.

I’ll always have my cards read, too. I look ahead to the promise and challenges heading my way in the coming year, and I often refer to my notes from these two yearly rituals throughout the year.

I regularly hear this common refrain, however: “What if something bad is going to happen? I don’t think I want to know!”

My response is always the same: “If you know what’s coming, you can prepare for it – and sometimes even avoid it.” That’s the beauty of a reading. Without that inside knowledge, we just live our lives walking into invisible doorframes.

There really IS a better way to go through your year!

Get ahead of the curve of your life.  See it from a longer perspective. Or give that gift to someone you care for.


Life just keeps coming at us.  But knowing what’s in store is invaluable.

Happy Holidays from my family to yours!


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An Afternoon with Susan Miller

by Deb on November 16, 2009

Yesterday one of my very favorite astrologers, Susan Miller, came to the Apple Store in Chicago to present her new astrology software and iPhone applications to an eager audience.

I arrived early to find Ms. Miller happily chatting with a woman, so I waited my turn.  I had to laugh to myself because Susan herself said in my AstrologyZone horoscope for that very day that “Sun in Scorpio and Uranus in Pisces is likely to make this a winner on so many counts. Things will go really well, and if you need to travel over this weekend, events will just click perfectly into place.”  I had travelled a couple of hours to get to the Apple Store, and here I was, waiting to speak with Susan in person in a very relaxed and friendly way.

When I sat down with her, I explained that I was at the event to cover it for my website, and she reacted so happily, as if I were Oprah! Her response was so warm an vivacious!  Of course, her website is one of the longest-running on the web, but she really made me feel at ease and special.  She is as empathetic and joyful as she appears to be in her writings.

Susan offers a yearly calendar on her site that I happened to bring along.  I asked if she would autograph it on the March 2010 page because both my husband and I are Pisces, and she revealed that she, too is a Pisces.  She happily sat for the photo below, and then I took my leave and found a place to sit in the mini-lecture room.

Susan brought along her business partner, Henry Seltzer, who had developed a software program called Time Passages which is really comprehensive – more for the non-novice, however he did many demonstrations of its usefulness.

He called people from the audience to come up and he set the program up for a short, one question read based on the chart that the program produced on the screen behind them.  While he was doing that, Susan answered questions.

The very first question was about December 21, 2012.

I chuckled, because both of these esteemed astrologers had the same reaction to the 2012 story as I’ve had for years: There’s nothing special about the actual date 12-21-12, astrologically or mathmatically.  Even the year itself doesn’t cry out “Armageddon” (although Susan confessed to TiVo-ing all the shows on the subject).  Instead, they both felt that either the Mayans just got tired of chipping stone and picked a numerically aesthetic date to end it, or they just ran out of stone.  I’ve studied the 2012 subject in depth and have not been convinced by anyone’s doomsday argument.

The rest of the presentation was riveting, and I’ll present random notes below to help the curious (myself, included) to get a handle on astrology basics that I learned that afternoon.

Susan invited me to interview her, so please send me a comment with the questions you’d like me to ask. I’m hoping we can set up our chat very soon!

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Astrology for Beginners

Your Sun Sign is important, but equally important is your Rising Sign.  When you read your horoscope, read both your Sun and Rising Signs.  How do you find out your Rising Sign? You must know your time and location of birth. I sent off for my birth certificate to solve this riddle because Susan says that you must know your birth time to the minute (even the second! – says she).  Then, go to Astro.com and have your birth chart drawn up for free. Go to the interactive horoscope section and you’ll find your your Rising Sign.

At the very top of your chart is the Midheaven.  This is what you’ll be known for in your life; your ultimate contribution to the world.

The 9th House is where you’ll find meaning in your life.

The North Node is where you’ll find your life’s purpose.

When Jupiter enters your sign, plant seeds for the future. Make good choices for yourself at this time. Susan made a point to say that Jupiter is entering Pisces in January 2010 and will be there for most of the year.  2010 is Pisces’ year – “a handful of emeralds for every Pisces” as she put it.  The outcome of these choices should last for a decade.

The ‘Luckiest Day of 2010’ – February 28.  Plan something big and fabulous!

On June 26 we’ll experience a monster eclipse – known as a Cardinal Cross. This is a good example of how spending time studying astrology is a good use of one’s time, because you will want to make the most of this eclipse.

Watch for some really radical changes across the board next summer.

Planets move in 4 ways during their trip across the heavens:
The Conjunct – plant the seeds, begin the new project
The Sextile – growth begins and flourishes
The Square – challenges arise
The Trine – opposition crops up: are you still committed to the seeds sown during the conjunct?  This is the time when we either perfect our commitments or end them.

Learning to read your chart is like learning a new language. Take is slowly, have fun!

And watch for my interview with Susan Miller!

Henry’s astrology software is called “Time Passages” and is available for the PC and the Mac.

Susan’s iPhone and Blackberry Application is called, “Astrology Zone Premier”

You can order Susan’s 2010 Astrology Calender here.


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Question Authority

by Deb on November 12, 2009

My father told me that. When I was a teenager, I fell under the spell of those two words – because ‘the Man’ didn’t have my best interests at heart. He had an agenda. I had to ask questions!

Lo, all these years later, I still question everything.  I know it must seem a paradox: I’m a skeptic who is trying to find the truth in unorthodox ways.  Sometimes even I can’t wrap my own head around that.

But let’s take it apart.  The world shows us a picture of reality.  That picture is actually an interpretation of reality.  Whatever the world is, we define it to keep it manageable.  That means that we emphasize some parts, and barely acknowledge or ignore other parts.  That’s perfectly acceptable – our minds couldn’t parse all the information out there on a constant basis. We would have to break it down.  The perfect example of this is ‘burn-out’ – an overload of information that’s gone on for too long.

I talk a lot about logic because I like it.  It’s dependable.  It’s pretty constant.  But logic can’t explain everything.  If it could, there would never be blog posts or conversations about the ‘why  and the what‘ of it all.  After years of trying to get to the bottom of this very paradox, I finally came to MY conclusion:  Logic can only take you so far down the path of your life.  At some point, you have to let go of its hand, sit it down by the side of the road and continue going on your search.  Don’t lose your way back to Logic, though – you’ll need him often throughout your lifetime.

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Notice that I didn’t say you should leave your Common Sense back there with little “Logic.”  Because now your common sense has to really kick into overdrive.  Let’s take an example:

I recently watched the movie, “Australia” about a make-shift family trying to survive World War 2 coming to the shores of that continent.  In one scene, the family must cross the Never-Never, a desert wasteland that we’re told cannot be crossed under threat of certain death.  An Aboriginal guide appears and leads them to the other side.  He does this by singing to the rocks and to the water that they are trying to find.  And he listens for those things to sing back to him, telling him which way to go.

Of course, they all arrive safe and sound on the other end of the Never-Never, but let’s pretend that the movie is real.  Logic says that this amazing feat was an accident – a fluke – it couldn’t be done the way it had been portrayed.  OK – that’s logic talking.

Common sense says that they arrived at their destination against all odds, so there might be something to this singing thing.  Level-headed westerners would want to see it done again and again.  We like our scientific proof, and surely, if I can get scientific proof (using the scientific method), I’m all for it.  But the more interesting stories in life seldom work that way.

So now what?  Well, throughout the movie, the Aboriginal guide sings to affect change many times.  And each time the outcome he seeks is the one he receives.  Same method, different application.  Common sense says that’s probably acceptable.  Logic says it’s not.

Let’s pretend our lives are a movie.  Let’s pretend that we can star in whatever DVD we want.  Then, let’s pretend the movie is real.  What’s to stop us from choosing the movie that suits our agenda?  Poor, poor me likes to watch the movie where I was unfairly treated.  Angry me likes to watch the movie where I vanquish all the people in my way.  Altruistic me watches the movie where I save the day.

If our search has gotten us this far, perhaps we can start to think about this “I” who is choosing the movies that we call our lives.  What is ‘my’ agenda?  Whose interests am ‘I’ serving?  What’s ‘my’ payoff?


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Halloween 2009

by Deb on November 1, 2009

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Halloween is a holiday that is changing. I thought it had completely died this year. Not one single trick-or-treater came by the house, whereas last year, we ran out of candy – twice!

I’ve noticed that more and more parties for adults are springing up, and not just parties that are a reason to drink – but full-blown Halloween Parties with costumes, music and contests.

I was invited to read cards at a wine bar this year on the night before Halloween. I agreed with the owner that I would read for free for anyone who came in costume. Since this is a rural/forested area, I really didn’t expect anyone to dress up.

Was I in for a surprise!

Hansel and Gretel, Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy, Michael Jackson and the Mad Hatter all showed up, and in serious costumes, too! I was set up in a separate room above the party, and the line formed as soon as I arrived. Of the 20 or so people I read for, not a single one had ever had their cards read. That made it really fun for me. I love the cold read, and readings only lasted 10-15 minutes so I had to get it right the first time. I read for people (and creatures!) of all ages and backgrounds. Even I am amazed as every reading unfolds: no two readings are alike.

On Halloween Night I read at a local, very popular restaurant. I had my own table right up in front of the room, far away from the nearest patron, so although my client and I had audio privacy, I was visible to everyone in the room, and they could see that the readings were ’safe.’

Before I left for this party, I had been engaged in a conversation online with professional Tarot readers, all discussing whether it was right, or even proper to remove some of the scarier-looking cards from the deck before doing entertainment-style readings. Many readers stated that they would not do such a thing, but one of them had landed her first paying gig on the stipulation that she remove the Death card, and others. She asked the opinion of the professional members of the forum.

My personal feeling is that you can remove any cards you want..you can leave half of the deck at home..it doesn’t matter – if the cards want to say something, they will, and they’ll use whatever you give them to work with. So, I promised the forum that I would remove some cards (sanitize my deck, as they call it) for one of the two Halloween gigs I had.

I removed the Death card before going to the the restaurant last night.

As soon as I began the readings, I was glad I had removed it. After all, the owner – a good friend of mine – would not have been happy if clients were anxious during their dinner. I can’t blame him – owning a restaurant in this economy has to be a singular challenge. The people I read for were such sweet folks who came to support a local business. I was so relaxed that I felt like I was in my own living room chatting with friends. And the clients were as varied as the night before. At this venue, I didn’t put a time limit on the reading, I just read until it naturally came to a close.

The woman pictured above sat at the table with me and as always, I asked her name. “Nicole,” she said – but I already knew that. She’s a local newscaster, and I watch her every evening. She was a fun read, and her boyfriend graciously took pictures of us to post here on the blog.

At about 10 pm the restaurant was empty and I began packing up my things. As I was folding the table cloth I brought, I looked down, and there on the floor was the Nine of Cups – wedged underneath the leg of the table! Now, the Nine of Cups isn’t the world’s happiest card, but it’s not as loaded with symbolism as the Death card or the Tower.

I’m still wondering how it got there — and more importantly, WHY!


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Interview: Gary Renard – The Law of Attraction and A Course in Miracles

October 23, 2009

I met Gary Renard years ago when he published his first book, “The Disappearance of the Universe.” I was intrigued by what his book said, and continued to have conversations with him over the years. Gary teaches A Course in Miracles. The Course is not something he developed, it was originally scribed in the 1970s. [...]

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Unusual Ways to Use the Tarot

October 20, 2009

Finding Lost Things
Pushing Through Your Creative Block
Checking in with those Who Have Passed AwayUsing the Tarot
There is a technique a reader can use when looking at your cards to see other things besides your life situation and the future you’re setting up.  When you’re having your cards read, you can divert the reading [...]

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What is a Tarot Reading all About?

October 15, 2009

No one knows who invented the Tarot.  The first Tarot cards seem to have appeared in Europe sometime in the 1500s. Many people think that they were first invented as a regular deck of playing cards (albeit incredibly beautiful), and that their use as a tool of divination came later.  Tarot cards are a tool [...]

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Shipwrecked in the New Age

October 10, 2009

This morning we woke to the news that 2 people had died and 20 or so people taken to the hospital as the result of a Sweat Lodge experience held by James Arthur Ray, one of the people featured in the movie, “The Secret.”
This is sad for everyone: the families, James Ray and his staff, [...]

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